I bought some postcards
But it ain’t funny
I would have sent a souvenir
But they took all my money
It’s pretty warm down here
But it ain’t sunny

And I’m having a hell of a time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of a time my dear
Wish you were here

I tried to phone ya
I tried to call ya
Long distance operators
They only stall ya
Besides the damn rates are so high
They just appall ya

And I’m having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here

Started out on a nice vacation
Left the station right on time
Now it’s turned to near frustration
I’m just a prisoner in time

Can’t get a ticket
To get me home dear
They just don’t have too many flights
From the twilight zone dear
So don’t forget to feed my cats
Spot and Jerome dear

And I’m having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here

Seen all the sights here
I’m getting lonely
I’d show you all the film I took
If they would only
Let me go home
Dear sincerely

I’m having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here